From a Distance
sings Bette Midler, and that brings a question to my mind.
Long-distance relationships - how does distance work, or rather, how do we deal with it?
As most of you know, the Blubberfrosch and I have one, and I know quite a few people by now who either have lived or are still living away from their partner. Some for a longer time, some only for a few months or weeks. Some seperate and re-unite (geographically) every few days, others spend a while apart and spend little, precious time with each other every now and then. And quite obviously the couples I know deal rather differently with distance. I know a couple that spends a fortune on texting each other every other minute, on top of the long phone conversations each night. Another friend assured me dryly they "communicate regularly" (which they do), but doesn't seem too fussed if for some reason a call isn't made.
I myself have a rather volatile behaviour. I don't text unless it's absolutely necessary - too expensive. But on the one hand I can spend hours on end on the phone and similar time on messenger (although I prefer the phone), and I can be without a word for days. Over all, I think we're more of the independent kind: As long as we know the other one's there, fine. I mean, as much as I need personal or "voice" contact - after all, he's in my heart, isn't he?
Which brings me to the central question: Is it easier to have a long-distance relationship today than years ago? With instant chat programs, e-mail, texts, cheap phone calls and the like? The background to this question is that the Blubberfrosch and I managed to almost finish off our relationship a few years ago by too many texts and thus too many misunderstandings and a lack of trust. We've reduced our communication quite a bit and are actually doing better - a lot better - now.
But then - I don't want to miss instant messaging or mobiles and e-mails. What if it's important? I feel I can't wait 3 days until the letter announcing that my cactus keeled over (or something really important - I'm not that superficial...) arrives.
Can you kill a realation ship by communicating too much, just as by doing it too little? And if so, does that risk increase with distance? Because one misses the partner and thus creates a 'communication overkill'?
Don't know... it has probably to do more with the inside than with the communication infrastructure... fast is good, but you have to be able to handle it... *hmmm*
It's better to be together anyway. Really together.
Long-distance relationships - how does distance work, or rather, how do we deal with it?
As most of you know, the Blubberfrosch and I have one, and I know quite a few people by now who either have lived or are still living away from their partner. Some for a longer time, some only for a few months or weeks. Some seperate and re-unite (geographically) every few days, others spend a while apart and spend little, precious time with each other every now and then. And quite obviously the couples I know deal rather differently with distance. I know a couple that spends a fortune on texting each other every other minute, on top of the long phone conversations each night. Another friend assured me dryly they "communicate regularly" (which they do), but doesn't seem too fussed if for some reason a call isn't made.
I myself have a rather volatile behaviour. I don't text unless it's absolutely necessary - too expensive. But on the one hand I can spend hours on end on the phone and similar time on messenger (although I prefer the phone), and I can be without a word for days. Over all, I think we're more of the independent kind: As long as we know the other one's there, fine. I mean, as much as I need personal or "voice" contact - after all, he's in my heart, isn't he?
Which brings me to the central question: Is it easier to have a long-distance relationship today than years ago? With instant chat programs, e-mail, texts, cheap phone calls and the like? The background to this question is that the Blubberfrosch and I managed to almost finish off our relationship a few years ago by too many texts and thus too many misunderstandings and a lack of trust. We've reduced our communication quite a bit and are actually doing better - a lot better - now.
But then - I don't want to miss instant messaging or mobiles and e-mails. What if it's important? I feel I can't wait 3 days until the letter announcing that my cactus keeled over (or something really important - I'm not that superficial...) arrives.
Can you kill a realation ship by communicating too much, just as by doing it too little? And if so, does that risk increase with distance? Because one misses the partner and thus creates a 'communication overkill'?
Don't know... it has probably to do more with the inside than with the communication infrastructure... fast is good, but you have to be able to handle it... *hmmm*
It's better to be together anyway. Really together.
posted by Bubblefrog @ 2:43 pm
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